Natasha’s adoption story…..

2nd May 2024

Natasha’s adoption story…..

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Introduction

Hi, my name is Natasha and I have been part of the team at Moira Cosmetic Dental for 16 years. Around 2016, my husband and I decided to go through the adoption process. Our son was born in 2014, and we knew adoption was how we wanted to grow our family. I can’t describe one specific reason why we felt drawn to adoption. I had friends who were adopted, and my husband knew several adoptive families, so the idea felt familiar and natural to us. It was always something we talked about, and after Matthew came along, we chose to take the next step.

Adopting

Because we already had a birth child, we could only adopt a younger child with at least a four-year age gap. This protected the birth order and kept our son as the oldest, which helps maintain family stability. The assessment process was very thorough. It included police checks, medicals, and in-depth interviews with our social worker. They also spoke with friends and family who we listed as references. A panel of social workers, medical professionals, and experienced adoptive parents reviewed our application. We received approval to adopt in June 2018 and approval to foster in July 2018.

We chose dual approval because we hoped to care for a child through concurrent care. In concurrent care, a child is placed with you as a foster placement, with the possibility of adoption if they cannot return to their birth parents. It carries some emotional risk for adoptive parents, but it provides the child with much greater stability.

We had been told that a match could take years. To our surprise, we received a match in January 2019 for a 5-month-old baby girl. Our social worker shared her file and we had the chance to ask questions and decide if she seemed like the right fit for our family. Once she was placed with us, I brought her several times a week to a contact centre so her birth mum could be assessed. The goal was to determine whether reunification was still possible. We didn’t need long to say yes, and receiving her first photo made everything feel real.

Within a week, we went to meet her at her foster placement and learned all about her routine. We also met her birth mum. It felt nerve-racking, but we were grateful for the chance to meet before the assessment began. Very quickly, we realised we all shared the same priority — the wellbeing of this little girl.

The assessment should take 12 weeks, but timelines can vary. Ours moved smoothly. By September, the decision was made that she would benefit most from staying in our care. Her birth mum strongly wanted adoption for her, not long-term foster care, and her support made the process easier. Once she was legally freed, and the Trust took custody, we applied to adopt her. This stage took around 6 months and included appointing a court guardian to represent her best interests.

The Happy Ever After

Our adoption date was set for 30th June 2020. Due to COVID restrictions, we couldn’t attend court in person. We could have postponed, but we were ready to become her legal parents. So, like many big life moments in 2020, we finalised the adoption on Zoom — just the four of us.

We agreed to maintain in-person contact with her birth mum twice a year, along with update letters at Christmas and on her birthday. People often ask why we continue this when we don’t have to. The answer is simple:

Our daughter has three parents who love her.
One of them loved her so much that she chose adoption to give her the care she needed.

There is no room for jealousy in love.

We believe in openness. We want her to understand her own story as she grows. Closed adoptions often create confusion and pain later. Our daughter knows she has always been loved — by all of us. We are blessed to have a strong and respectful relationship with her birth mum. Our daughter receives age-appropriate information, and when she has questions, she has several safe, loving adults she can talk to.

We also continue to receive support from our social worker, who provides guidance and resources. Social services often receive negative publicity, but our experience has been positive from day one. The Western Trust and our social worker have been professional, compassionate, and steady, even when emotions have run high. We are very grateful.

Northern Ireland Adoption

In Northern Ireland, Health and Social Care Trusts manage the adoption process. They assess and approve prospective adopters, match children, and provide ongoing support. Adoption legislation is broadly similar across the UK, but small regional differences do exist.

Northern Ireland’s unique cultural and community context can also influence the matching process. For some families, foster to adopt / concurrent care can be the best path — offering stability from the earliest stage, even while the child’s long-term plan remains under review.

Every adoption journey is different. Each case includes its own considerations. But the goal remains the same:
to give a child a safe, loving, and permanent home.

We have learned that the path may not always feel easy, but the rewards are immeasurable. Our family is living proof of the power of love and the beauty of fostering to adopt. If our story encourages even one person to explore this journey, then sharing it is worth it.

Something to Consider

I’d also like to highlight a charity we support at Moira Cosmetic Dental — Madlug.
Madlug began in 2015, founded by local man Dave Linton. When he discovered that many children in care have their belongings moved in a bin bag, he created a solution. With £480 and a lot of passion, he launched the Buy One, Wear One, Help One model: for every bag purchased, a travel bag goes to a child in care.

If you see me at Moira Cosmetic Dental, I’m always happy to answer questions.

updated 2025 Photograph